


What Fresh Hell Is This?

by lokitty656



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Canon Divergence - Weirdmageddon, Crack, M/M, i blame real-time fandub for this, im so sorry, thanks charley, total crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokitty656/pseuds/lokitty656
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just... read it if you want to laugh. It's a crack fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bill sighed and flew over to Mabel’s bubble, shifting into a human form so she wouldn’t recognize him. He walked through the rainbow world, ignoring the waffle guards and waltzing straight into Mabel’s castle. But he doesn’t visit Shooting Star. No, he has come for a different reason.

He locates the door he wants and slips inside.

“Hey dude, what’s up!” Bill grinned and turned towards his lover, pulling Dippy Fresh into a quick but tender embrace.

“Better now that I’m with you, Fresh Pine.” The demon leaned down and kissed his creation. “I can’t stay long, darling. I have the world to take over.”

Dippy smiled. “Rad, dude!” He clicked finger guns at Bill, the latter smiling. Bill grabbed his hands and pulled Dippy Fresh closer, chest to chest. The pair kissed again, Dippy’s arms wrapping around Bill’s waist.

An alarm went off in Bill’s head. He sighed, knowing that the real Dipper had just entered the bubble. “What’s wrong, my dude?” Dippy asked his love, staring into his golden eye. “Pine Tree’s here now. I have no doubt that he’ll break the bubble and save his sister.”

Dippy’s eyes lost some of their sparkle, his smile dropping. “I don’t want to leave you dude.” He grabbed Bill in an even tighter embrace. The demon sighed. “I’ll save you. You’ll come out of the bubble and stay by my side forever. I love you, Dippy Fresh, and I’m never letting you go.”

Dippy’s eyes filled with tears of happiness at the demon’s confession. “I love you too, Bill.” The two kissed each other, but were interrupted by a waffle guard, calling Dippy Fresh to Mabel’s “throne” room. Dippy left after one last lingering kiss. Bill sighed and left, making preparations to save his Fresh Pine from the destruction of the bubble.

He sat in the Fearamid, paying close attention to what was happening in the bubble. As soon as Dipper and Mabel hugged, he pulled Dippy to his side, saving him from being corrupted by the innate dark magic of the bubble. 

“Man, those two really need to take a chill pill. Do those grow on trees here too?” He slung an arm around the triangle. Bill snapped his fingers. “They do now.” The demon replied, high-fiving Dippy Fresh.

The two chatted while waiting for Dipper, Mabel, and the others, Dippy eventually grabbing a skateboard and doing tricks for fun. After a bit of leisurely partying and skateboarding tricks, the rebels made their attack. Bill told Dippy Fresh to stay in the Fearamid so that his precious Fresh Pine would be safe. Dippy stayed, sitting on Bill’s throne of humans, anxiously awaiting the day his love returned from the war.

He watched Gideon, entertained by his silly dancing and even sillier outfit. His vision was drawn to the triangular doorway as a group of people parachuted in. He grabbed his skateboard and boarded down to the floor. Dippy, being a showoff, did a few tricks on the way over, shouting “Flip a dip dip” before every single one. He stopped in front of the group. “Hey dudes, how’s it hanging?” He said, accenting it with finger guns.

“Dippy Fresh? How are you even here right now?” Mabel asked, walking closer. Dippy laughed. “Bill and I are super tight yo. He saved me from your bubble and we’re gonna rule the world!”

Mabel sighed. “I’m sorry Dippy Fresh. It has to be this way.” She swung at Dippy and his world went black. 

His eyes fluttered open a few minutes later, just in time to see his darling demon get spray-painted in the eye. “Bill!” he shouted, running towards the other. He flung out his hand, summoning his awesomely cool and radical powers of swiggity swag to knock the paint can out of Mabel’s reach.

Bill turned to him, joy radiating off of him. “Fresh Pine!” He shouted, quickly flying over and hugging the other. Dippy Fresh placed a kiss on Bill’s front side, the demon turning pink. “You’re embarrassing me, Fresh.” 

Dippy smiled and kissed Bill again. All of the Pine twins looked at the scene in horror. Mabel, however, quickly got over her shock and enlarged the cage, grabbing her brother and running. Bill snarled and, after dropping the older Pines in a cage, chased after them. Dippy stayed and watched Stan and Ford. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Ford decided to question Dippy. “Who are you and why do you look like Dipper?”

“Wiggity wiggity what’s up dude-bros? I’m Dippy Fresh! I’m cool, supportive, and like punctuating everything with a high five! Mabel created me in her bubble!” He held out his hand for a high-five. He never got one.

In his anger he used his awesomely cool and radical powers of swiggity swag to try and hurt the two old men but since he used it earlier he didn’t have enough energy and fainted. Again.

He awoke to the words “It’s a deal!”And watched as his love made a deal with Ford. “NO!” Dippy screamed, reaching out. He turned to the other three, burning with rage. 

“YOU!” He slowly stalked towards them. 

“YOU!” His lips contorted into a snarl.

“YOU!” He grabbed Stan. “I know you dude bros did something so WHAT WAS IT?”

The old man simply held up a gun and blasted his brother with it. Dippy felt a tugging at his back and he was yanked backward. His eyes widened, realizing what the gun was and what the Pines had done to his one true love. “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS! BILL AND I WILL GET OUR REVENGE!” He shouted, just before getting sucked into the rift.

The real Dipper blinked a few times in shock. “Well. That was disturbing.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to read something good check out my other stuff. Leave kudos if you laughed or cringed.


End file.
